The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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