you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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