3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
