Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
