David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
