i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
