Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
