You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
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