i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize