do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
