i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
