So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
