There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
