so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
