This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
