It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
