He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Buhtt sex?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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