just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize