Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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