I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
accomplished twins. life is a go
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize