I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
