Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
