Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
