Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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