Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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