she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You need Xanax blowdarts
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Randomize
