Got a toothbrush?
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize