So drunk its hurt
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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