yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
