Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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