Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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