I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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