Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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