Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
