you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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