It's Friday. Sex?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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