I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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