Why are handjobs necessary in class?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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