Need sex. Gaining weight.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
