I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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