he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
