My balls are so social today.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
