The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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