then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
