i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
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