This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
