he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
