You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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