So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Im part way to drunk.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
how does that bad decision feel?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
