i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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