Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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