you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I wear drunk well.
Randomize