Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
