ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You took a bar mat shot.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
