then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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